Growing up in a traditional American home I was taught in my early years that it was wrong to live together before marriage. But I remember the day that this assumption was challenged. I was speaking to a close friend of mine whose parents had gone through a bitterly painful divorce and he still bore the emotional scars of those difficult days. He told me that he had met a girl that he was convinced he would spend the rest of his life with, but was still afraid of marriage. His dad offered him what seemed to him to be wise counsel. “Move in together for a couple of years and try things out. Don’t rush into vows that neither of you knows if you can keep,” he counseled.

My friend explained to me his logic. Wouldn’t it be better to move in together and try things out for a while to see if the two of them were compatible living together? This made sense to him. “Nobody buys a car without test driving it so why not take some time to really try out their relationship and make sure it was a good fit”, he reasoned. Besides that, there were also financial benefits. Since they were both renting apartments it would cut their bills in half if they simply lived together.

Please understand that my friend’s deep desire was to avoid some of the tragic mistakes he had seen his parents walk through. But was this the best plan?

The Bible is very clear about this issue. When God created humanity he made us with a need for intimacy and a God-given desire to experience companionship and sexual fulfillment. These are not bad desires; in fact God placed them within each of us. However, God does set parameters for the expression of these desires. It is explicit in Scripture that sexual intimacy is preserved only for marriage. This means that God’s great plan is to unite two lives in the covenant of marriage for all of their days on this earth. It is within this setting that sexual fulfillment and intimacy are designed to be not only expressed but enjoyed!

God’s rules are not to restrict us, but to bring us true freedom and enjoyment in the covenant of marriage.